I had the opportunity to have a conversation with the chapter consultants during their training at the National Headquarters. The first question that I wanted to address with them was this: what is sisterhood?

We all have different definitions for this word that is so much a part of our Phi Mu experience.  I define sisterhood as a relationship.

In the course of our lives, we have countless relationships.  Some thrive while others fade away.  In the simplest of explanations, the reason why is the effort that we choose to put into them.  Difficult relationships feel like work while easy relationships flow like water.  But without nurturing and care, the easy relationships become difficult and the difficult ones become unsustainable.

The beauty of thinking of sisterhood as a relationship is that it strips away the assumption that just because we all belong to this organization, the feeling of sisterhood between members will naturally result.  Sisterhood, as a relationship, requires our participation in order to thrive.  Whether that is the relationship we have with one another in our collegiate chapters, the relationship between collegiate and alumnae members, or the relationships we all share to the national organization, Phi Mu is built upon relationships.

One of my closest relationships developed as a result of Phi Mu.  As a provisional member, I was assigned an “Alum Chum.”   In my mind, this sender of encouraging cards and notes must certainly have been a more “mature” alumna since my 18-year-old self could not comprehend the idea of young alumnae.  With the encouragement of my Alum Chum, I completed my provisional member period, was initiated and set about to become an involved member of my chapter.  So imagine my surprise when I learned that this “mature” alumna was only a year or two older than I was.  What began as correspondence through the mail developed into a real life friendship that has been sustained over nearly 20 years of shared laughter, tears, joys and sorrows.  While we had the bond of Phi Mu in common at the beginning of our friendship, it wasn’t until we started sharing bits of ourselves with one another that a deep, lasting relationship was able to develop.

I also gave the consultants a second definition of sisterhood: community.  Think about a community, it is something that is built.  In a strong community there is a sense of identity, of belonging, of being home.  It's the thing that you want to come back to.  That is how sisterhood should feel.

Lauren Humphrey, Gamma Kappa, a Phi Mu chapter consultant, has experienced Phi Mu sisterhood firsthand.  She explained, “As I travel, not only do I get to see the sisterhood that has developed in individual chapters, but within my short time spent there, I too feel a part of the sisterhood and a part of their community. The handshakes that happen during introductions at the beginning of the visit turn into goodbye hugs by the end of the visit. Members keep in touch with me, informing me of their successes throughout the year, knowing that I will share in their excitement.  I have been fortunate to experience the bond of Phi Mu sisterhood in my own chapter at the University of North Carolina - Wilmington and also at the chapters I travel to as a consultant.

So what can we do to transform the way we think of sisterhood?  We can actively engage in building a strong Phi Mu community.  More than just showing up for meetings, attending socials, or serving on committees, we can develop relationships.  We can nurture one another.  We can take the time to get to know something meaningful about the women in our chapter.  We can have the grace to see them as people with feelings, fears and struggles not unlike our own.  We can live the Creed by being to others what we would they would be to us.

Phi Mu gives us the experiences and opportunities to make meaningful connections with our sisters.  It is up to each of us to maximize those opportunities and nurture the bond of sisterhood that we hold so dear.

Continue to purposefully nurture your Phi Mu relationships and support your Phi Mu community; you will then fully experience our Phi Mu sisterhood.